List #2 Of Things That Are Your Fault Entirely:
- Unwanted, left field sexual attraction based solely on human reproduction. You and your kind are partially to blame for embarrassing walks of shame and “What was I even thinking?”
- Water-weight gain due to PMS and ovulation. Rude.
- Actual weight gain due to menstrual cravings, pregnancy cravings, and lazing around because you won’t let us move. I’m sure that as a result of the cravings, world hunger is also your fault.
I hope you’re keeping track.
CEO, The Body
Manager of Emotions