Saturday, January 21, 2012

Uterine Arrogance:

Dear Uterus:

You do realize that you hold infinite power over all human societies, right? Without you, humanity would just not exist. You utilize the estrogen produced to your advantage and attract the opposite sex. You make them want to procreate. You tend to make the Body feel really good, as well as really bad. Chicks dig you; men want you and sometimes try to BE you. I don’t think you realize how much you have it made. You’re a sexy cultural icon.

Keep up the good work!

The Brain
C.E.O., The Body
Manager of Emotions 

  I asked an interesting question on Facebook: What is your definition of Uterine Arrogance?

   This is a good question, in my opinion, since I use that term in my everyday language. Why would anybody be arrogant because of their uterus? What does that even mean? Here are some great definitions that people came up with:

  • Hjördís Lára Hreinsdóttir: When the U(terus) thinks it is so above taking important stuff into consideration, like vacations and parties!
  • Tawny Powell: The belief that beings with uteri are greater than those without, allowing them a degree of deserved and rightful arrogance.

  • Tai Collins: When Miss U(terus) thinks her whims are way more important than me wanting to be functional for a full day.
  • Melba Searcy: Even when you take five Aleve, it still tells you to "Fuck off". That, my friend, is Uterine Arrogance.
  • Seth Hewatt: Uterine Arrogance is when something leaks fluids all over everything without feeling ashamed.

    After laughing out loud in delight with all of these responses, I think Ms. Powell's answer is what I usually think of when I use this term. Not that I think I am superior to anyone who has never had a uterus, but I am pretty arrogant that I have a uterus and men don’t get to have one. I brag about it sometimes. I admittedly use it as an excuse for behavior-kind of like a scapegoat. It’s my wing man and my enemy. I am incredibly proud of it. And why not? My uterus is the only muscle in the human biological world that can nurture the production of other humans. Even if I had no breasts, no labia, no female curves what so ever, if I had a functional female reproductive factory in my lower abdomen then all systems are go.

    This is one reason why I used to get angry at people when they skewed femininity and actually being female physically and psychologically. Being female, physically, means having the parts associated with the gender. But being female or feminine psychologically is a completely different subject all together, a subject highly debatable throughout, and on the fence between, the two genders most comfortably established in everyday existence.

    Give or take some cultural exceptions, people have been trying to establish and maintain a bold line between the genders since humans had self-consciousness. However, despite attempts at boxing it up and branding it, gender has maintained a more fluid presence, notwithstanding many modern takes on it. Take Freud, for example. I admittedly have always had a problem with that guy, ever since being introduced to him in high school. I mean what’s up with that douche? Aside from the fact that I'm pretty sure my brother never wanted to kill our father so that he could make it with our mom, Sigmund Freud ran around telling people that women have an Oedipus Complex and penis envy. That women live out their lives feeling castrated and seek out the penis as a compensation for their own lack of a hanging phallus. Give me a break. My father was never a “love object” and I never accused my mother of improperly suckling me or for giving me the wrong genitalia.

    But what about those who do feel like they have been given the wrong genitalia?

    I have been thinking a lot about transsexual and transgendered people as a result of this Uterine Arrogance that I have procured for myself, especially since the recent news I have read about a seven year old transgender Girl Scout. Bobby Montoya of Colorado is a physical boy who identifies as a girl, making her a transgendered child. The state Girl Scout troop has welcomed little Montoya as a member of the Girl Scouts because, according to the Colorado Girl Scouts, "If a child identifies as a girl and the child's family presents her as a girl, Girl Scouts of Colorado welcomes her as a Girl Scout." This came after she was initially denied because she doesn't have "girl parts."

   This seems like a questionable thought at first; a seven year old boy who identifies as a girl could totally be in some sort of youth phase. Then again, maybe the child just knows that she was born in the proverbial wrong body. Many studies, including some early works by Dr. John Money (which were highly publicized in the mid-seventies with other research that was laced with extreme controversy and turmoil), show that gender identity is "firmly established by the age of 2 1/2." These studies were confirmed despite "gender assignment," a cultural norm established by parents and doctors, that happens either at birth or in the womb.

   Even though, admittedly, it seems a bit rash to state that I am still arrogant of my uterus, because of what I just wrote, I think this idea is worth diving into. Am I wrong for even considering Uterine Arrogance? Is it inconsiderate to others who may wish for my plight? Maybe...

        Now let’s switch it up. A few years ago, transsexual man Thomas Beatie became pregnant. Deemed The Pregnant Man, this dude made it big because everybody, even Oprah, was talking about how he was the first man to ever become pregnant. It was a miracle, right? Okay psychologically the woman is a man. Even legally in the state of Hawaii, Mr. Beatie is a man. Biologically, and still in the physical reproductive state, he is female, although now after three children, he is considering getting a hysterectomy. But when I heard the news a few years ago that he was having his first child, I didn’t see what the big deal was. Okay, initially, my Uterine Arrogance kicked in when I saw the headlines. I think it went something like this:

"Oh my God, men are ALWAYS trying to take things from women when it is powerful! Why on earth would a man want to have children when clearly women are the gifted ones here?! What the flying fuck?!?!"

  Then I read the details. When he was pregnant, for all intensive purposes in my mind, this person was a woman-a woman with a goatee. Society and the press seemed to deem him a pregnant man only for the shock value (which worked on me, I admit) and not out of respect for his new gender. So you can imagine my jealousy at his publicity-I have a uterus too! Nobody would ever make a big deal if I got pregnant! This dude was making money, writing books and ruffling some major feathers because he fooled everyone into believing that what he was doing was unique to humanity. Talk about an awesome publicist!

    I think I spoke to anyone who wanted to talk about this issue, including people who didn’t support the guy, people who did unquestionably support the guy and then people who were on the fence about it all. Everyone agreed on one piece of the puzzle: the man still had his uterus; so in essence, it was not that big of a deal, biologically. I don’t think I ever came to a concrete resolution to the issue. It is not really that surprising, it just throws everybody off who is used to cultural norms and stereotypes all the time, myself included. But hey man, use that uterus to your best ability. It is yours, anyways, not the entire human race’s. Which means this, Thomas Beatie: Be Arrogant!

   So anyway, that brings me back to my original topic: Uterine Arrogance. Do I have the right to it? Is it really that big of a deal? What do more people think about this issue and how said arrogance would effect our world and its apparent multiple genders? Is Uterine Arrogance THAT big that I can say that it effects the entire world?

Why yes. Yes it is.