Dear Anisa's Uterus,
Let me introduce myself. I am Alix's Uterus. I knew Anisa when you began to give her trouble in Toulouse. But she never talked about you then. Shy? I'll tell you about me now. I am 42 years old, and although I've always existed inside Alix, she only got acquainted with me when we were 11. The beginning of her periods was not a shock to her because her mother had explained the whole "nest" thing for having babies, and had bought her pads, the ones you had to tie to a belt (old fashion). She quickly moved to adhesive ones, much more convenient. The only problem during the first year was that she always forgot when our period would begin. It always started when at school (last year of elementary school) and she had to go to her teacher to ask for pads. She remembers socked underwear and trousers very well, and thanks long tee-shirts fashion in that time.
She was lucky in the first years : her periods were painless and regular. Pain began when 14, lasted a few years, then disappeared as it came without leaving an explanation. When she was 22 she began to want a child. She had been dating Hocine for 6 years and she had a steady job. Then began a long and hard struggle. Having been raised like every little girl in the believing that "they living happily ever after and had many kids", she thought that there was nothing more simple than becoming pregnant. She discovered that fairy tales don't give details. After a year she went to her gynecologist and asked him to run some tests. A few hours of torture later, she discovered that one of her trumps was clogged and that she was not very fertile. She began popping pills before ovulating, taking her morning temperature and writing it, and popping other pills after ovulation. Two years later she finally became pregnant but very very very sadly lost the foetus after two months : feeling of emptiness inside. Another year crossing her fingers if not her legs, she became pregnant again. She had a wonderful pregnancy : no more periods! No illnesses, no dizziness, wonderful skin, few pounds, and the fun of feeling a little life inside me, and wonder of wonders : to grow a penis (it was a little boy and is now a young man). Giving birth was much more painful than periods, but it was worth the effort. After that first pregnancy she was bored to have periods again, a whole month of periods after Eliot's birth! Only good thing : no pain.
When Eliot was two after a few months popping more pills, she felt a new life growing inside. But an echograph when the foetus was three months old revealed the clogged trump was swelling dangerously. The gynecologist's reaction was frightening : you'll have surgery tomorrow morning!
A night of nightmares later, a open-belly surgery later, the baby started kicking again. Phew! A few months later little boy Naïm (second penis) was born.
Pain come back the year after, very acute, very socially destructive, Alix would still go to work, but ache all day long. Evening were devoted to trying to find a painless position. It went on for another year, then stopped.
She had been on the pill for 26 years and was getting tired of it. So she decided to stop, husband said ok we'll use condoms. But you know how it goes... Therefore a few months later, a little before our 40th birthday, Alix, who only had one trump left, thought she was un-fertile, became pregnant again! She remembers vividly buying a test, peeing on it, and peeking 10 seconds after although she had to wait for 60 seconds, and seeing the pink lines, two pink lines! She told herself to wait. And a minute later, at the same time smiling in surprise and happiness and telling herself "oh shit, too old, too small apartment, husband not willing another child, but.... happy! " Decided not to let herself be told to get rid of it. Husband after a few minutes of surprise accepted it. And on it went for months of glorious health, beautiful skin, no dizziness, and... a little uterus growing in her! How funny to think this baby you feel inside is growing the same equipment! Hope her uterus will be charming.
After the most painful birth-giving she experienced, Alix has a beautiful little Jasmine. And periods again... Irregular cycles, very painful ovulations, and painful periods... Back to the same shit...
Always wonder why sometimes periods are ok, and sometimes for years in a row they're painful.
Women have a complicated equipment. No wonder they're so complex.
Bye, Anisa's uterus, let's hope you give her rest.
|Alix Allalou: Mommy, Wife, Librarian and My Friend (and my Uterus' new penpal!) Lives in Toulouse, France Basically Being Awesome!|