04/15/15

Dear Uterus,

List #2 Of Things That Are Your Fault Entirely:

• Unwanted, left field sexual attraction based solely on human reproduction. You and your kind are partially to blame for embarrassing walks of shame and “What was I even thinking?” 

• Water-weight gain due to PMS and ovulation. Rude.

• Actual weight gain due to menstrual cravings, pregnancy cravings, and lazing around because you won’t let us move. I’m sure that as a result of the cravings, world hunger is also your fault.

I hope you’re keeping track.

Best,

The Brain

CEO, The Body

Manager of Emotions