04/05/15

Dear Uterus,

I am writing to you today concerning the Heart. He’s pretty broken up right now. He seems to think that the bulk of human affection has something to do with him and you and not me, you and the Vagina. He has nothing to do with love or lust, but I think he watches too much television or reads too many romance novels.  The Heart takes them to heart.

I know that you and the Vagina work closely together and I want you to let her know that she needs to calm down. I would talk to her myself, but the Vagina never listens. The Heart is over here pining and keeping him happy is making it difficult to focus on other, more pressing, issues. 

Please talk to your friend.

Best,

The Brain

CEO, The Body

Manager of Emotions

P.S. I know you’re both in cahoots on this issue. I’m no fool. But think about it this way: it’s not like you’re having any luck getting busy anyway.